The older I get, the more I realize something simple yet profound: every day is a blessing from God—and that alone makes it special. I refuse to let my joy be held hostage by the pressure of a “MUST.” A day is not valuable because a culture labels it a holiday; it is valuable because God made it. And that is enough.
“This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24)
The idea that I must do this or I must feel that—and that if I don’t, something is wrong with me—is exactly what cognitive psychology identifies as the “MUST” cognitive distortion. Albert Ellis warned that rigid internal demands—what he famously called “musturbation”—create emotional disturbance because people insist that life must go their way (Ellis, 1994). Scholars like Pucci (2013) and Epstein (2023) echo this, showing how unnecessary “musts” fuel perfectionism, anxiety, shame, and harsh self-judgment.
But Scripture teaches a better way.
Believers do have God-given responsibilities, but they are rooted in truth, not pressure.
God tells us what we must do:
“He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?”
— Micah 6:8, NKJV
Jesus said:
“If you love Me, keep My commandments.”
— John 14:15, NKJV
These biblical “musts” are life-giving—not draining. They free us, not burden us.
When we elevate man-made expectations above God’s Word, we trade freedom for bondage.
Holiday MUSTs Are Making People Miserable
Many people suffocate under holiday MUSTs—pressures that God never required:
- I must have the perfect Thanksgiving meal.
- I must host the whole family.
- I must buy my kids expensive gifts—even if I can’t afford it.
- I must feel happy during Christmas.
- I must create a magical holiday like everyone else.
These expectations create crushing pressure—and for many, deep emotional distress. If they don’t fulfill these MUSTs, then it is a horrible thing, and the result of thinking like that is anxiety, depression, and so on.
Research confirms this. A national survey reports that 89% of American adults experience stress during the holidays, and 41% say their stress is higher than at any other time of year (Deconstructing Stigma, 2023). Other studies show that 38% of people experience heightened stress, depression, or anxiety during the holiday season (HealthPartners, 2022; Mental Health First Aid, 2023).
The most common stressors include:
- financial pressure
- family obligations
- social expectations
- overloaded schedules
- gift-giving demands
- relational conflict
- loneliness
- comparison
- disrupted routines
(HCA Midwest Health, 2022; Mayo Clinic News Network, 2023)
For those already battling anxiety, depression, grief, or loneliness, these pressures can intensify symptoms (BrainsWay, 2023; Mayo Clinic News Network, 2023).
Walk in Freedom This Season
My encouragement is simple: be free from man-made MUSTs and be faithful to God’s Word.
You don’t have to perform.
You don’t have to meet every expectation.
You don’t have to manufacture joy.
You simply need to walk humbly with your God.
Release pressure.
Reject distortions.
Rest in Scripture.
Refuse the Holiday Blues.
If all you have for Thanksgiving is salad and chicken—praise God.
If all you can afford for your children is a couple of gifts from the Dollar Store—praise God.
Remember: there is nothing in the Bible commanding us to give gifts to one another at Christmas. When Jesus was born, He received gifts and worship. So, fix your eyes on Jesus—not just during Christmas, but every single day. You will discover a deeper joy and greater mental stability when Christ—not culture—defines your peace.
References
BrainsWay. (2023). Holiday stress and mental health: Understanding seasonal triggers.
https://www.brainsway.com
Deconstructing Stigma. (2023). Holiday stress statistics: How Americans really feel during the season of joy.
https://deconstructingstigma.org
Ellis, A. (1994). Reason and emotion in psychotherapy (Rev. ed.). Carol Publishing Group.
Epstein, R. (2023). The cognitive distortions handbook: A practical guide to recognizing and reframing irrational thinking. New Harbinger.
HCA Midwest Health. (2022). Holiday stress: Understanding seasonal emotional triggers.
https://hcamidwest.com
HealthPartners. (2022). Holiday stress and mental health survey.
https://www.healthpartners.com
Holy Bible, New King James Version. (1982). Thomas Nelson.
Mayo Clinic News Network. (2023). Managing holiday stress, depression, and anxiety.
https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org
Mental Health First Aid. (2023). Holiday mental health statistics and guidance.
https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org
#HolidayMentalHealth, #RefuseTheHolidayBlues, #ChristianMentalHealth, #FaithAndWellness, #RENEWModel, #CognitiveDistortions, #MusturbationMyth, #BreakTheMUSTs, #ChristCenteredCounseling, #WonderfullyMed, #MentalHealthMatters, #StressFreeHolidays, #ChooseJoyDaily, #WalkWithGod, #BiblicalWellness
About the Author
Angel Casiano, M.A.C.P.C., is a Clinical Pastoral Counselor, Certified Christian Life Coach, and Certified Temperament Analyst dedicated to helping individuals experience emotional, spiritual, and relational transformation through Christ-centered counseling. Angel serves as a Christian Counselor and Life Coach with Wonderfully Med, a faith-based counseling and wellness practice he co-leads with his wife.
In addition to his professional work, Angel volunteers his counseling services at Harvest Outreach in Avondale, Arizona, where he provides compassionate support to individuals, couples, and families seeking biblical guidance and emotional healing.
Angel is also an author of several books, including:
Biblical Fundamentals of Wellness
In Biblical Foundations of Wellness, Dr. Rayette and Angel Casiano bring together over five decades of combined experience in medicine, counseling, and ministry to reveal how true healing begins with alignment—spirit, soul, and body. Blending Scripture with peer-reviewed science, this manual restores the divine connection between physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness. Whether you’re a health professional, counselor, pastor, or believer seeking balance, this book will guide you toward a life of faith-based wholeness and renewed purpose. “I am the Lord who heals you.” — Exodus 15:26
The Church was never meant to be an institution—it was designed to be a living organism, empowered by the Holy Spirit and built on Christ’s foundation. In The New Testament Church Model, Second Edition, Angel Casiano calls believers and leaders back to the biblical pattern of the first-century Church—a model rooted in unity, discipleship, and divine order.
Drawing from Scripture, church history, and decades of pastoral insight, Casiano unveils how today’s Church can rediscover its authentic identity and spiritual power. This expanded edition offers deeper teaching, practical guidance, and prophetic clarity for those who long to see revival and restoration within the Body of Christ. Whether you are a pastor, leader, or passionate believer, this book will challenge you to rethink ministry and re-align your life with God’s original design for His Church.
Hope for the Divorcee: Forgiven and Moving Forward
“Hope for the Divorcee” is a brutally honest look at divorce through the sharing of personal experience. One will be encouraged in a way that offers both personal insight as well as hope through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.” DR. RUSS WELCH, TH.D., Senior Pastor, Mighty Arm Ministries, Inc.
“A beautiful, Spirit-inspired book that any Christian asking the tough questions about divorce should read! I will be using it in my private practice as a Christian counselor to help restore hope to the broken.” TAMMY W. BURKE, National Certified Counselor and Licensed Professional Counselor
Pastor Angel Casiano’s happy eighteen-year marriage ended when his beautiful wife died of cancer. Lonely and angry at God for his loss, he jumped into a second marriage. For the next two years, he was miserable and became a man he didn’t know or like. Then he found himself in a position he never thought would happen to him—divorced.
The negative stigmatism of divorce within the Church made him question whether he had toppled into the abyss of unforgiveness. Was his life now over, and was he now condemned to go through the rest of his days alone because he made the mistake of marrying the wrong person? Did he dare to hope he could move on happily after divorce?
Join Casiano as he shares the good, the bad, and the ugly of his story, with complete transparency as he openly admits his desires and the sins he committed along his journey to find happiness. Join him as he takes you into the Bible to hear what the God of the universe has to say on this controversial topic. Join him as he scripturally proves that there is indeed hope after divorce and that you, too, can live a joyful life despite your mistakes.
This manual is not about an easy fix. For your mind to be renewed, it will take intentional work on your part. The claim I can confidently make about this devotional is that it represents truth—not because of my credentials, but because its foundations are firmly rooted in Scripture. Every principle shared in these pages has been prayerfully examined and scripturally corroborated.
Revolution of the Mind: A Model for Drug and Alcohol Rehabilitation Programs presents a comprehensive, evidence-informed framework for transforming thought patterns that sustain addiction. Developed through decades of applied counseling and program leadership, this model integrates principles of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), and the Twelve-Step philosophy. It provides clinicians, facilitators, and recovery specialists with structured interventions—including The Why Exercise, The Progression, Man in the Mirror, and the ABC of Emotions—to help clients identify, challenge, and replace destructive beliefs with rational, life-affirming thoughts. Adaptable to both faith-sensitive and secular settings, the model emphasizes personal responsibility, peer accountability, and cognitive restructuring as pathways to lasting behavioral change.
40 Windows of Wisdom is a 40-day devotional journey designed to renew the mind, strengthen the heart, and draw believers into deeper intimacy with God. This devotional blends biblical truth, practical insight, and transformational guidance to help readers experience real, lasting change from the inside out.
Each “window” opens a fresh perspective from Scripture—revealing God’s wisdom for daily living, emotional resilience, spiritual growth, and mental renewal. With Angel’s unique integration of counseling principles, temperament understanding, and pastoral care, this devotional goes beyond inspiration; it provides tools for transformation.
Every day includes:
- A carefully selected Bible passage
- A short yet powerful teaching
- A practical reflection or challenge
- A guided space for journaling
- A moment to pause, breathe, and invite the Holy Spirit to speak
40 Windows of Wisdom is perfect for individuals, small groups, counseling clients, and anyone seeking clarity, healing, direction, or spiritual renewal. Whether you’re navigating a difficult season or simply hungry for deeper truth, these 40 days will help you realign your thoughts, emotions, and decisions with God’s heart—one window at a time.
Open the windows. Let the light in. Allow the Holy Spirit to transform you from the root to the fruit.
There are some careers that simply meet needs — and others that touch eternity. Counseling belongs to the latter. To counsel is to walk into the sacred territory of the human soul, to sit at the intersection of pain and purpose, and to listen not only with ears but with discernment. When I first began this journey, it was to resolve my own issues; I did not see it as a profession. Later, I saw it as a calling — a divine assignment to help people rediscover the image of God within themselves. As a former pastor, I had often engaged in counseling both directly and indirectly, though without formal training, I called it biblical advice.
Eventually, I completed a master’s degree in clinical Pastoral Counseling and became a Certified Temperament Analyst, Life Coach, and Substance Abuse Counselor. I felt confident in my training and my call as a counselor. Yet my confirmation did not come from degrees or certifications, but from the transformation evident in my clients.
As I advanced in my training and pursued licensure, I discovered a difficult truth: what God calls sacred, the world calls regulated. Somewhere along the way, the call to counsel — born in the heart of the Wonderful Counselor Himself — was abducted, licensed, and supervised by systems that never authored it.
Do not misunderstand me: I value ethics, supervision, and professional standards. They are essential guardrails for integrity. But there is a deeper truth the Church and the profession must recover — that healing begins not in policy, but in presence; not in regulation, but in revelation.
This book is my attempt to bridge two worlds that were never meant to be at war — the sacred and the scientific. My hope is that it becomes a guide for counselors, pastors, and all who dare to sit with the broken, reminding them that the Counselor’s voice has never been silent. It has only been abducted.
For counseling appointments, speaking engagements, or resources, visit:
🌐 wonderfullymed.com
📞 252-200-0400
Leave a Reply