When I was Born Again, I was 29 years old, and it was within days of my 30th birthday. I had lived my whole life before Jesus rescued me. I went to church because I was told that’s what you are supposed to do as a Christian. It did not take long for Scripture to confirm that coming together was indeed Biblical. I did not question the gatherings; I questioned what we do in those gatherings relatively early in my walk with the Lord.
I noticed the service order was the same in every church; some were more alive, and some were dead. Some sang longer than others, some preached longer, etc. But at the end of the day, everybody sat looking at the stage Sunday after Sunday. I noticed that many relationships did not go any further that Sunday. We had what I called a “God bless you on Sunday’s relationship.” If you miss a Sunday, somebody will contact you Monday and tell you, “I missed you at our church service.” I started asking myself if these people only cared about us once a week.
The bottom line is that what I saw on Sundays and what I read in the New Testament regarding how the church looks like did not match… at all. Boy, did I get in trouble for daring to question this! In the process, the Lord called me to pastor a church for the first time in the summer of 2005. By then, I had been a Deacon and Elder. I have been involved in several ministries, including Youth Minister, Cell Group Leader, Assistant Minister to the Senior Pastor, Prison Ministry, Worship Leader, and Martial Arts Ministry, to mention a few. Serving was never an issue for me.
As a pastor, I had an opportunity to do things the way the Bible says, but I was still within the system. I moved from Jacksonville, Florida, to Gates County, North Carolina, to fulfill my duties. I remember feeling so happy and excited about it.
My wife was diagnosed with cancer six months earlier, but I was convinced that she would be healed completely. As life happens, my first wife passed away six months after I accepted the call to be a senior pastor. That was a devastating blow. I hung in there for a couple of years before I turned my back on God and ministry; the pain was too much for me… I was not strong enough. I was now a single father of three small children, one with special needs.
I returned to Jacksonville to remarry; that marriage did not last that long before I divorced. This was the valley of suffering. I entered that valley, in part, because of my own bad decisions and sin. God disciplined me but never abandoned me.
I married my current wife 12 years ago. For that, I returned to Gates County. Our journey, as we brought our families together, has taken us through three states: North Carolina, where we met, Alaska, and now Arizona. We have been in various churches, including a couple of our own. In the last few years, we have focused on a home church. We had our moments; God used me most in teaching God’s Word and restoring a few marriages that were in serious trouble. However, I sure did not witness a New Testament church experience. If anything, I can say that this ministry has failed. There is no growth, outside ministry, or open participation in our Bible Studies. Sadly, it has become a one-person show like the other churches I have participated in.
I have taken the time to teach Acts 2:42 as our modus operandi, “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.” (NIV) and I have also taken the time to teach First Corinthians 14:26 as our foundational Scripture for our structure as we come together,
What then shall we say, brothers and sisters? When you come together, each of you has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. Everything must be done so that the church may be built up. (NIV)
These teachings have yet to materialize. Folks sit back and wait for “the man of God” to feed them, gathering after gathering. It has been a humbling experience for me; knowing what the church looks like according to Scripture has not been enough to experience it.
I have been praying about everything related to the church and our participation. I miss men’s accountability, giving, involvement in ministry, etc. Recently, the Lord put me in contact with a church that is starting. I have never been a part of building a new local church. After praying, I accepted the invitation to join as an Elder. This is my new journey with a local church. I am excited and ready to serve. I will be writing about this experience as time goes by.
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