“8 Things that are Helping Me Combat Anxiety”
I like the outdoors so much! There is nothing like waking up early before the sun comes out and being there as the sun’s light begins to shine. I am impressed with God’s creation every day. For somebody like me who struggles with claustrophobia, freedom is priceless.
On Tuesday, May 28, I was in the hospital after being diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure. Among the tests the cardiologist ordered was catheterization. “Cardiac catheterization, also known as cardiac cath or heart catheterization, is a medical procedure used to diagnose and treat some heart conditions. It lets doctors take a close look at the heart to identify problems and to perform other tests or procedures.”
For that catheterization, I was placed on a bed face up, unable to move for two hours. They found three problematic areas in my arteries, so they placed three stents. “A stent is a small mesh tube typically used to hold open passages in the body, such as weak or narrowed blood vessels. Stents are often used to treat coronary artery narrowing, providing the heart with oxygen-rich blood.[1]
I am thankful for these doctors, this test, and these stents; however, I was unprepared for the process. To be in a situation where I was not able to move during the procedure and then two extra hours afterward was a nightmare. See, moving after a catheterization could be lethal as you bleed internally to death. The doctor is directly going inside your arteries to explore the condition of your heart and, in my case, place the three stents. This process leaves the arteries extremely sensitive, so staying still is vital.
Those four hours of not being able to move were a nightmare, the worst medical procedure I have ever faced, and one of the worst experiences in my life. My thoughts made me feel trapped, and my claustrophobia went through the roof. I cried as my wife and the hospital nurse begged me not to move. Only by the grace of God was I able to somewhat comply.
Since this experience, I have been struggling with something I have never struggled with before… Anxiety. Now, I feel trapped and unable to breathe freely. I constantly gasp for air. Anxiety is disrupting my sleep as I can’t find anything to make myself comfortable. I find myself exhausted and unable to sleep… another nightmare! I went days without being able to sleep.
This anxiety starts by not being comfortable. I must constantly stand up and walk in the house or my small backyard. What forces me to stand up is that I get that feeling in my body that I can’t breathe. Laying down becomes impossible because my mind takes me back to those four hours I was forced to be face up in a bed without moving… and there is the challenge of going to sleep. As simple as this may sound for some of you, this experience was traumatic to me, especially when I was already having problems breathing.
Through the ABC of Emotions, we learn that nothing or anybody can make us feel anything; our thoughts about the event make us adopt certain emotions. It was not the four hours of having to be still that caused me to cry, feel highly anxious, and activate my claustrophobia; it was my thoughts that did it. In other words, I did it myself. So, as I struggle with anxiety, I need to deal with fixing my thoughts. So far, eight things are working for me:
- Anything that reminds me of my God’s power, faithfulness, and love: Reading Scripture, prayer, and worship is the foundation of my healing.
- Knowing that others are also praying for me comforts me. I have a few friends who are praying for me. Knowing that you are not alone is a fantastic feeling.
- Connect with God’s creation: Go outside and be grounded by a) purposely contemplating the beauty of nature: the trees, the birds, the mountains, rivers, lakes, etc., b) listening to the sound of the wind, the birds, your steps, c) feeling: the clothing on you, your comfortable shoes, your keys on your packet, etc. d) smelling, and e) tasting; here you can probably taste the toothpaste or maybe as you drink your coffee or tea, some gum, etc. In addition, as I ground myself, allowing the morning sun to hit my face is very important.
- Engage in a good conversation with a family member or close friend: Laugh, tell stories, and go deep into a discussion about God. I was symptomatic and struggling with anxiety when good friends came for a surprise visit. As we sat at the table and started telling stories and enjoying laughter, my anxiety left me instantly. Even speaking over the phone with my mom and dad was helpful.
- Engage in my favorite hobbies: I can’t do much now as I recover, but I love golf. There is a putting green in the back of my house, so I started practicing my putting, and it was a great way to make my anxiety disappear. I miss playing golf and can’t wait to get back in the game.
- Take care of my hygiene: There is something about hygiene, shaving, and dressing comfortably and cleanly that makes us feel good.
- Enjoy a hot bath with lots of bubbles: Every time I get ready to take a bath, I tell my wife that I am taking a 15-minute vacation. During this time, I have only been able to take showers, but after tomorrow, I will continue taking my baths; they do something to my soul.
- Don’t give up; continue contemplating God’s vision for my life. I am excited to learn some of the lessons I am learning. I look forward to wellness, not to live a life limited by diseases. I am grateful for traditional medicine; as I move forward, I will cooperate with my PCP more, but I must embrace Functional Medicine if I want to continue to function correctly in this life through prevention and drastic changes in my lifestyle. As I think this way, I see hope for a better future.
So, there you have it! These are the eight things that are helping me to fix my thoughts on the right things and to be rational about this whole process.
[1] https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/stents#:~:text=A%20stent%20is%20a%20small,heart%20with%20oxygen%2Drich%20blood.
Leave a Reply