Four Reasons Why Fornication is So Bad

There are many complex topics in the Bible; however, fornication is not one of them. The Bible is not silent about this topic. I must admit that this is a topic that I would rather avoid because, sadly, I have failed in the sin of fornication several times. I am writing and speaking about this topic because … the Holy Spirit told me to do so. 

Fornication, in its basic definition, is to have sex outside of the marriage. Our reality as humans is that we have been getting in trouble with fornication since the beginning. This issue affects not only the world but also God’s people.  Fornication is a central sin to the troubles in some of the seven churches mentioned in the book of Revelation. 

In First Corinthians 6, fornication is mentioned as one of those lifestyles that will disqualify us from entering the Kingdom of God. In First Corinthians 6:18, the Apostle Paul tells us, “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.” (KJV)

But why fornication is so wrong? If two consenting adults decide to have sex, what is wrong with that? They are not hurting anybody… right? Well, let me try to answer these questions by providing four reasons why fornication is so bad:

1. Understand that there will be consequences for your sin: As you become one with your sexual partner, it will affect you with your next partner. There may be children out of wedlock. As you try to move on with your next relationship, your children are suffering; there may be bitterness involved, bitterness that will affect your children also. There may be conscious or unconscious comparisons of lovemaking with your other sexual partners, etc.
2. This unholy oneness with sexual partners will have its effects on your body: As humans, we are spirit, soul, and body.^[1] If you are a born-again Christian, your spirit is the part of us that willingly follows God. Jesus tells us that the spirit is willing but that the flesh is weak (Matthew 26:40-43). We are told to live by the Spirit of God and not gratify the desires of the flesh (Galatians 5:16) and that the flesh desires what is contrary to God (Galatians 5:17). Our flesh is the part of us that has no hope of redemption; however, when we have sex with anybody, we become one with that person in the worse of them and the worse of us. Look at the list of the fruit of the flesh and understand that you are becoming one with another individual. Genesis 2:24 tells us, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” (NASB) Becoming one flesh does not only apply in marriage, but this also applies even if we have casual sex. The Apostle Paul tells us, “And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” First Corinthians 6:16 (NLT) This explains why it is never just sex; there is always drama attached to it. Also, this explains why marriage is so tricky, especially in the beginning, because we are united in the worst of each other.
3. This unholy oneness with sexual partners will have its effects on your soul: The soul is the seat of our emotions. I don’t need to convince you that these relationships are filled with much drama directly affecting your emotions. Our mindset and decision-making also flow out of the soul. Have you ever felt you have lost your mind for somebody? Have you ever been in a relationship where you see all the red flags but go for it anyway? That’s your soul being affected by a bad relationship. 
4. This unholy oneness with sexual partners will have its effects on your spirit. Why do you think God wanted the Israelites only to marry Israelites? Because the rest of the world was infected with idolatry? Idolatry is misplaced worship, and worship flows out of our spirit (John 4:23-24). Because of unholy relationships, even Salomon worshipped other gods (I Kings 11). Also, see Revelation 2:14 to see the connection between sexual immorality and idolatry. 

So now that you understand why fornication is so wrong, what can we do about it? How do we fix this problem?

1. Repent: The Apostle John says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” First John 1:9 (NIV). 
2. Stop fornicating: Repentance is not going to do you any good unless you stop fornicating. 
3.  Seek counseling: Counseling is going to help you navigate many emotions, especially guilt, regret, depression, etc. 
4. Get married: If the person you are fornicating with is marriage material, seek counseling and consider that marriage is the most excellent solution for your problem with fornication. The Apostle Paul tells us,

But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. 8 So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. 9 But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.

First Corinthians 7:7-9 (NLT)

5. If this person is not marriage material, end the relationship: Jesus tells us in Matthew 18:8-9 “If your hand or your foot causes you to lose your faith, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life disabled or injured than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into everlasting fire. ⁹ If your eye causes you to lose your faith, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hellfire.” (GW) You may be able to put an end to the relationship in a respectful manner. However, I want to give you a warning here. Doing this may be more complicated than it sounds. Sadly, emotions of jealousy and rage may get in the way, leading, in some cases, to domestic violence. Seek counseling and protection. This is one of the dangers of becoming one with a crazy person.

We live in a society that normalized fornication. Abstinence is considered old-fashioned and ridiculous, but God’s Word has not changed. I can testify that God is merciful, and He can restore us. I have been married for 12 years against all odds. But it took repenting, stopping the behavior, and seeking God every step of the way. It has not been easy, but to God be all the glory. 

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^[1] And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. I Thessalonians 5:23 (KJV)